Independence

Anyway Im completely happy now in my life and cant wait to explore other ventures. I wanna be living in NYC by 25 and England by 30 just because there’s so much culture in the world I wanna see. So Im determined and I know nothing can stand in my way when I wanna get something done. But this weekend I’ll be catching some rays and finally getting a tan.

Im happy with all the friendships I have they’re all scars. Ugly but never going away. And me and my family are stronger than ever, why I wanted to breakaway in the first place is beyond me...oh my dad was crazy LOL its all good now. Im finally letting bygones be bygones.

No matter where I go, who I see and fall in love with Ill always be in love with myself.


I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic...those that are old and familiar...those that bring up lots of questions...those that bring you somewhere unexpected...those that bring you far from where you started...and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all...is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the "you" you love...well that's just fabulous

So now for the summer Im staying back at home. Basically Im just passing through for the summer whereas in the fall Ill be gone away for school which is exciting. Im ready for the workload of things I actually want to do and my curriculum is designed for me to always be doing something, some of my labs are like 12 am. Crazy! But whatever Im completely happy about it.

Lately I’ve been laying low on the “D LIST” as me and my Twin (Shawn) Would call it. I haven’t been going out. The extent of our days where work, Shawn’s house, eat, watch some reality tv go home, sleep and do it all over again. Literally that was our lives from may til July. I made my super leap and or resurgence starting the 1st of July. Because it being a month and maybe my favorite month.

I extended my friend list again. Because basically it was just down to Shawn. I went through this whole faze of getting all of the phony needed people out of my life. Which made all the drama escape from my life. But in the end it left me with no one to hangout with besides Shawn. Which is cool and all but being best friends that are actually 100% honest with each other we tend to get a little to honest and sometimes we just pick fights with each other just for some amusement or some kind of excitement LOL. I know its pretty sad but hey it was fun.

Our circle has kind of grown up (apart). Erica is still a skanky slut but now she has a boyfriend. Will has drifted off into whatever it is that he does in his Willocity that is Will’s life. We did actually hook up once for Pride down town sometime in June which was fun and all. I know its going to be hard saying goodbye to my favorite Bitches but whatever, we’re all growing up and true friendships, while you often grow apart you realize you don’t need to speak to each other everyday to determine if the love is still there, true friends you can go months without speaking to them and when you actually do talk to them again it seems as if nothing’s changed.

There are a couple new players in my: Troy is like my white best friend, I didn’t really know what white gay America was thinking LOL well besides reading GQ. But hes like the coolest person to be around There’s Ty who’s really cool and laid back. Cornell who’s a blast out be around. Tom-Tom my other white friend who’s really cool. I use the term white friend very loosely, Im not racist or anything I make fun of each race equally, its just that since I left Cardinal Gibbons (Private Catholic High School) My white friends just disappeared but hanging out with them just reminded of how cool they can be.

Oh and I’ve started hanging out with Donya who lives around the corner from me hes like one of the coolest people I know to. So basically Im surrounded by a lot of goal oriented positive people. Im not being rude by saying I don’t like the loser friends I once hung out with, they are cool. But you have to be around people that actually think on a much more adult plane than people who set their goals so low and end up doing retail or something at 27. Its just really sad.

Anyway for myself Im just ready to grow and learn. You know when your like a sponge just ready to soak up everything you can to do what you wanna do. There are so many ventures and endeavors I want to take. I know with m personality and my vision (and looks) I can go really far. I don’t want to say Im this or that. But I think at the end of the day Im a visionary. I use the term trendsetter to but more so as I like clothes, I like to mix and match and I love to dress and fashion is just really important to how you express yourself. Its an expression of who you are. So how I dress reflects my mood in a way. When I was lame and boring I dressed that way. When Im fun I dress fun, and etc.

But what Im trying to do as a whole is influence a nation that you can do whatever it is you want to do and still be you at the end of the day. Clearly I have big dreams. Model. Actor. Director. Producer A & R exec. Own a production company. Work with a and collaborate on a line of clothing. I mean its not one set thing. Im planning WORLD DOMINATION. LOL the world is so lucky I cant sing because I would already have a rock-pop-r&b-soul-hip-hop album with a vintage jazz feel from the 20's,30's 40's album out right now. But I have big dreams I might not fulfill most of them til at least 35. But that’s cool. Modeling and Acting come easy but all the production stuff is basically there when looks start to fade or until I eventually get bored with something. I don’t just want to act and be a tool in someones work. I want to writ, produce and direct my own shit so I wont be conveying an emotion or act that someone wants me to convey it’ll actually be something that I put together.

And the school Im going to has had an extremely big influence on the entertainment business today so I will have no problems getting my foot in the door whereas they have people ready to scoop you up upon graduation and I’ll actually have to intern as a course my senior year so Im ready.

Back to my life as of now Im actually having a great time. This past weekend alone I’ve done more than I’ve done in 2 months. Friday night I went to Central with Cornell it was a really great time. Even though I ran into a former roommate who hates me. No biggie. I don’t have the time or energy to actually hate anyone anymore, its petty.
Saturday was really chill. I hung out with Troy for a bit and we went to starbucks and out to Bowie to hang. Then I went over Shawn’s for food and TV things that I could do on my own at my own house but its so much more deliciously “D list” when you have someone else there.

Sunday I hung out with Tom-Tom. Went out Arundel, then to the Harbor then to White Marsh then home to change really quick to head to Love with Gary. I had a blast, we haven’t hung out since the over dramatized very public fallout we had back in January. But we let the past be the past and bygones be bygones. And we had a good time like the good ol’ days. I forgot how much fun going out was.

Of course I was drunk. I saw my other best friend Juan there along with a lot of other Baltimore’s Billionaire Boys’s club. I don’t wanna name drop but if you’ve been out them you’ve seen the 20-23 crowd. I swear they played Beyonce’s song 4 times one back to back. Geez over kill. I like it and all but its not crazy in love or Baby boy. It’s a lackluster comeback single. But the Bitch hasn’t been out of the medias eye since she went solo so she isn’t really coming back from anything. But anyway Its still a good song at th end of the day and for the people (Gary) that think I hate on her. It isn’t so. I actually love Beyonce she kills her performances live well not the BET awards performance that was just lackluster and I think I expected to much considering most of her performances have been spectacles I just thought she was gonna do something extreme, be overtly hot doing so and kill it.

I hate to say that Busta Ryhmes or even Chris Brown had the best performances. Beyonce had on a cheap looking outfit that looked like some lame Baltimore fashion show person would come up with. The leg designs where cute but it still looked cheap. She looked like a greasy baked potato LOL but whatever her seizure was cute though. But im still disappointed hopefully performs Ring the Alarm at the VMA’s and reclaims her thrown....oh wait she doesn’t have it anymore because Christina Aguilera is coming out with a double disc cd Aug. 15th LOL I love the PR that Im doing to bad that’s Shawn’s major.

Everyone should know that I am a biased Christina Aguilera fan much like people are with their Beyonce’s or Aaliyah’s. LOL we’ll I do live in reality and do see and name their flaws unlike some fans cant seem to do (Gary, Beyonce fans or People that Loved Aaliyah and actually think she’s the best singer ever created. Just because you die shouldn’t make you a super star or a saint Im not trying to be rude or anything but come on) Anyway I love her new single and video. The latter had some getting used to, but overall Im pleased. Im happy people are giving her the respect she deserved but shunned away with the STD ridden video for Dirrty. So what the bitch thinks she’s Marilyn Monroe or Etta James or Billie Holiday. I know she’s bipolar so what! She wants to be called Baby Jane LOL ok who cares. Well Baby Jane is a bit much but so is Beyonce’s Sasha or Britney’s Mona Lisa. I guess moving right along.

Right now personally I’d rather not talk about my love life or lack thereof. Either Way Im happy school is my 1st love again so whatever else happens just happens....

Basically Im back with a new outlook on things. Ready to tackle a new city, a new life, and a new career so sit back and watch the drama unfold...